Categotry Archives: Coaching & Couselling


Inspiring Business Cards – Dream Cards?

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Categories: Changing beliefs systems, Coaching & Couselling

inspirational business cards

For a while now, I’ve been wondering how to “design” myself. How do I want to present myself? How do I want the world to see me? And if they look at me, will they even see me, the way I see myself and especially what I know I can do for those out there, including YOU. If I were to tell you I’m a dream designer, would you believe me, or better yet, fully understand me?

That may sound cocky* at best, but then again, I know what I can deliver, since I’ve done it not only once or twice, but many times over the last decade (yes, I’m getting old(er). There’s no denying it ;-). For those who aren’t sure, my emoticons are a dead give-away.)

Three seconds

Getting back to the original question, I can’t help wondering how important a good and clear statement is. A statement which captures one’s attention, getting them curious to explore on. It should also be obvious enough to understand what it is I’m doing, preferably in that same instance. Three seconds. That’s all I have. Three seconds to capture your attention, so you will read on or click on a link, whatever has been made available by me.

Dream cards

Back  to reality. I’m talking dream cards here, business cards which should be inspiring enough to have people go to that place, which contains those stories, blogs, vlogs, whatever is wished for. After all, not everyone is the same, so each person will have its preference. So I’ve got two questions for you:

1) Do you think it could be optional to capture that on a dream business card?

2) Which medium would inspire you? See vid below.

Please post your answer below in the comment field, short and sweet :-).


* I’d rather be seen as corky. Enough said.

Question (2) of the day



Workshop – Creeer je Valentijn

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Categories: Blog, Coaching & Couselling, Workshops, Workshops, Tags: , , , ,

Vrijdag 14-02-2014 is een datum die nog lang in het geheugen zal blijven en daarmee worden die dag 2 doelen met elkaar verenigd:

  • Het maken van voornemens (het is tenslotte het begin van het jaar) op de meest gedenkwaardige dag van het jaar;
  • Het vieren van jouw Valentijn, niet zozeer met jouw geliefde, maar met en voor jezelf.

De workshop zal ingaan op jouw wensen die jij hebt, met als doel deze te verwezenlijken, waarbij 14 februari 2014 de startdatum zal zijn voor dit streven, het vervullen van deze wens.

De kosten voor de workshop bedragen € 37,-* inclusief lunch en een cadeautje. De locatie is bij Chikara C&C, Turfschipper 22 te Wateringen.

Als jij zin hebt in een gezellig bijeenkomst met anderen, terwijl je aan je wens werkt, schrijf je dan in door een mailtje te sturen naar of door een SMS-je te sturen (of te bellen) naar 06-14543336. Vermeldt dan wel even de data, het aantal en de namen van de personen die meekomen.

*Om deze datum optimaal in te luiden, zal er voorafgaande aan deze workshop, op donderdag 13 februari van 19.30u-22.30u, een bewustwordingsavond worden gehouden met het thema – Droom je Valentijn. Zou je zowel op de avond als op de dag van de workshop aanwezig willen zijn, dan kun je nu inschrijven en gebruik maken van de bundelprijs van  € 50,-.

In verband met het aantal plaatsen wordt gevraagd om zo vroeg mogelijk (liefst een week van tevoren) aan te melden.


Bewustwordingsavond – Droom je Valentijn

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Categories: Blog, Coaching & Couselling, Workshops, Workshops, Tags: , , , , ,

14-02-2014 is een datum die nog lang in het geheugen zal blijven en daarmee worden die dag 2 doelen met elkaar verenigd:

  • Het maken van voornemens (het is tenslotte het begin van het jaar) op de meest gedenkwaardige dag van het jaar;
  • Het vieren van jouw Valentijn, niet zozeer met jouw geliefde, maar met en voor jezelf.

Om deze datum optimaal in te luiden, zal er voorafgaande aan deze avond, op 13 februari van 19.30u-22.30u, een bewustwordingsavond worden gehouden met het thema – Droom je Valentijn.

De kosten voor de avond bedragen € 25,-* inclusief een drankje, wat lekkers en een cadeautje. De locatie is bij Chikara C&C, Turfschipper 22 te Wateringen.

In verband met het aantal plaatsen wordt gevraagd om zo vroeg mogelijk (liefst een week van tevoren) aan te melden of je komt en met hoevelen.

*Omdat de avond deel uitmaakt van een geheel, namelijk niet alleen het dromen van je Valentijn, maar ook het creeren ervan, is er een speciale actie. Als je je nu inschrijft en je komt zowel op de avond als de volgende ochtend (inclusief lunch aan het begin van de middag), is er een bundelprijs van  € 50,-.

Wil je hier gebruik van maken, geef dan van tevoren aan dat je beide evenementen komt, door een mailtje te sturen naar of door een SMS-je te sturen (of te bellen) naar 06-14543336. Vermeldt dan wel even de data, het aantal en de namen van de personen die meekomen.




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Categories: Blog, Coaching & Couselling, Leadership Counselling, Tags: ,

TreefrogThis week was about having a struggle, wondering if I would have to give up on some of my dreams (including principles) or not. This weekend it all seemed to be combining when going to a seminar on internet marketing. It was called “Leap frogging” but the actual theme was about “Transformation”. The funny thing was that I’d been promised another transformation in my life the week before, so if this means this is telling for what the future might hold, things look promising to me.

Let’s start with a remark/observation which had been made. The Secret sounds nice, so does visualization, but it leaves out one important clue. Without the proper action, things won’t take off. The good news was I got to realize I’d already been working steadily on my dreams the last couple of years. It’s not the way I had expected things to run their course, but one way or another, things have been developing and I have been building a solid foundation for my practice, even when other people were inclined to show me differently.

Now it’s up to me to get that focus back on my dream(s), by taking a look at what I’ve achieved so far and see how I can use this. And this is what I’ve been doing lately and especially this weekend, continuing this very moment. The key factor here is “time” and I’ve become aware that one of the people, who somehow has started to play a very important part in my life, already pointed this out to me. Time is limited and should be spend wisely. Translated it would mean that every time we spend time on certain things, it should lead to something productive/useful.

The (public) commitment I made was to make a planning today, having to do with my business. At the course a certain expression was used, being the focus of a “shrimp” (thanx Eelco ;-)). Please forget about the “shrimp”. The term is merely used to keep remembering what it’s all about and it’s about doing multiple things at the same time and not achieving anything at all as a result. That’s how things work – up there – in my mind, if I do not control them and tell myself to do the important stuff. With everything I’ve done up till now, certain things may be achieved rather sooner than later, if I push through now.

So here it is again, the focus to keep on living my dream. If I’m going to let go off this focus in the next few days, I can forget about everything I’ve done up till now and life will be a complete disaster, so no, let’s not. Let’s keep that focus no matter what. The good thing is that with this part of the dream being realized, others will be able to be realized as well. There will be more time available to work for instance on project ESP or on something similar.

I’ve come to understand lately that maybe I should not just focus on this being the only option to get things proven, but just maybe there are other options as well. This makes me realize that what I got taught a year ago is proven to be very true. It’s not so much about the “how” but about the end result. When it comes to project ESP, this means proving (some of) the metaphysical (aspects) is (are) real. For my dreams it means this bit, but also being able to go on what I got to enjoy so much in life. Doing what I am good at.

Last year several people each tried to get to me to focus on different things. It was confusing to say the least. This had to do with the “how”. I am a person who’ll never just stick to one thing. I’ve never done so, even when working for a boss, I always had multiple roles, wherever I showed up. It seems it’s no different when it comes to what I’m doing now and each direction seems to be developing in its own pace. Whereas I’d expected the coaching to go into a certain direction, it seems to be going there, but the route is wondrous, to say the least. The most important clients are being picked up at the spiritual fair and they are the business people I like to interact with mostly.

Taking a look at the massage, I can tell you I never set out to do anything with this. It was the result of me wanting to be able to “feel” the muscles in the human body, instead of knowing all about them just from theory and doing exercises. Still the massage was what started my practice and all else followed. Being a therapist has never been based on the massage, this is based on working with the energy and even while having a license based on this field of expertise, I always said I wanted to remain “down to earth” and not be seen as the “woo” person, which is the direct result of that same field of expertise. As a coach I can get people to face reality, yet I work with that same energy and with mediations and visualizations. So somehow it all seems to mingle.

The focus however is not about realizing one specific aspect, while forgetting all else, my dream has to do with combining all of it, each at different levels. This can be done and the terminology is called “building”, ONE layer at a time. So focussing is still very important. Everything can be done, if done in the right order, which means I have to careful with this one thing which seems to evaporate very quickly, being time.

Combining focus with mindsets in order to accomplish this transformation, needed to keep on living my dream(s), it’s about using my knowledge on mindsets, meditation and affirmations, plus a lot of other stuff, like writing blog posts, to get the massage course going. I want people to know it’s something I got to develop and now is the time to make this happen.

The most amazing part while writing this, is realizing how everything just seems to interact. The writing of blog posts, leading up to articles. The exercises leading up to mind discipline. Setting up this website and meanwhile getting to practice a number of important aspects, all having to with internet (marketing). And now all comes back to this theme called “transformation”, combined with mindsets. It’s about showing others that what I say I stand for, I not only talk about, but in actuality practice. Whoa, that sounds like a lot, as in a huge responsibility. Then again, I believe we get what we can handle, so let’s see if I can live up to what I’ve said I wanted to do most and can do the best, being “living my dream”.


*Picture is courtesy of



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Categories: Blog, Coaching & Couselling, Leadership Counselling, Tags: , ,

This week was about one specific theme: “responsibility”. All week long it has been about taking responsibility, being able to take responsibility, and especially about taking responsibility when you are in the position of management.

At some moment you may have chosen to be in a management position. Whereas there are many roles having “manager” in the name, it doesn’t necessarily always involve managing people. It does involve the responsibility with being called a “manager”, which means “no hiding”, “no taking things for granted” and “questioning things whenever necessary”.

There can be a number of reasons why people do not do so, varying from “being afraid to tattletale”, to “not knowing what’s expected and listen to the first person who does tell them something, to “thinking things will have way of working out regardless whether they demand this or not”.

It doesn’t matter what the reason is, whenever you decide to step up to this role or level you need to take certain responsibilities. Being scared is not one of those trades, neither is being vague. If you don’t know, ask. Don’t ever get told that others made assumptions about you knowing things, while you in fact do not know. Instead make sure you do know what the other wants.

Is this simple? No, it’s not. Is it logical? It should be. So if you are a manager (whether seeing yourself as one or actually being one), can you say what’s keeping you from performing the way you are supposed to? You are supposed to streamline, most certainly where others can’t, get answers from others, even when do not want to give you any, and demand things from others, especially when they do not seem to be taking you seriously.

When you do not get those answers, or people do not seem to listen to you, you might wonder what’s wrong. Are you that manager you are supposed to be? Do others perceive you to be that manager you think you are? Do you live up to the status of being that manager you are supposed to be, that you (most likely) can be?

If you don’t, it’s time for a change. Either you step up to the plate, or you take a step back. The choice is ultimately yours. Whatever you choose, do so with your eyes wide open and know it’s always your own responsibility whatever you decide to do.


Stepping up to the plate

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Categories: Blog, Coaching & Couselling, Leadership Counselling, Tags: ,

For some time now I’ve been coaching someone on management level and today the subject was about “stepping up to the plate”. The biggest difference between coaching management and non-management is the way managers can be addressed and how quick they are ready to “really listen” and act upon what they’ve come to realize. Often there’s more at stake, so all the more reason to change what they’ve become aware of. The common nominator has to do with insecurity as result of changes. Even when working at a high level for a longer period of time, once in a new environment, roles change and become unclear and with this their attitude can change beyond recognition. They suddenly act like non-management, accepting everything that’s required from them to do. Question is whether this is wished for, or not.

All of us have certain skills. A number of people prefer to do whatever has been asked, no more, no less. Then there are those who are very creative and think out of the box. Others are helpful and / or not afraid of taking responsibility. A limited amount of people have the ability to take a step back and see what is already happening and then there are those who can see what is likely to happen, if certain routes will be continued. Take the latter groups who have the ability to “spot” things and combine this with taking responsibility and there is the question of whether or not someone dares to “step up the plate”.

Communication is a difficult subject. Not only do we have to deal with communication at work, but also within our private life. Remarkable is that any issues having to do with communication at work are also recognizable in personal relationships. Coaching management therefore is not only about coaching them at work, but also about how to deal with others in their private lives.

When someone has the ability to spot things others do not, one can argue whether or not they have the responsibility to do something with this skill. Would you be prepared to tell others what you’ve become aware of and, by telling them, support them in the possibility of making changes or would you just leave things the way they are? This question probably is best answered by looking at numerous aspects, starting with “do you feel this to be “justified” ”? If you were to address certain observations, would this feel like you are being a “tattletale” or would this be in the best interest of – say – the company? Is the way you are “exposing” the observations done in a way that is hurtful? Or can you tell in such a way that it’s not to be taken “personally”, won’t have any negative consequences for the people involved and will be beneficial to “all” in the long run?

If we are dealing with people who are not able or not eager to express their thoughts, communication can become very hard all of a sudden. Especially if there are a bunch of people who are not capable of or willing to do so. Would you like to have something changed, because you see it won’t work in the long run, it might be up to you to say it out loud.

Question next becomes if you have the courage to speak up. You might know what it is you want to say, but you simply may not dare to, not knowing whether it would be appreciated or not. By looking at the different possibilities of expressing what it is you want and comparing these to possible outcomes, an overview can be created, helping you decide what would be best for you and others involved. If you are certain the outcome will be positive, the next step is about taking action. Which leads us to the question: Would you be willing to “step up the plate”?

The client, I got to coach, realized that after “becoming aware”, action may be required, but in such a way, this will be acceptable for both him and his surroundings. He is already redefining his role and with it his responsibilities and actions. He’s going to do what he did best, before he changed environments. He’s going to be this observer, gather data and present this to his management-colleagues, accompanied by possible solutions.

When I started out this piece, I was talking about skills and I asked the question, whether or not someone could and would be willing to “step up the plate”. Possible insecurities were discussed, combined with personal thoughts and ethics. One thing got left out. What if you are able to take the next step, but you simply do not “want” to do so? You might want to consider if you are one of those people who has that rare ability to view things for what they are worth. If so, what would it cost you to act on it? What if it were to be beneficial to you? This willingness to look at things from this perspective and the ability to deal with this is what separates the “true managers” from the others. They have what it takes to take that extra mile, stepping up to the plate.


The importance of the right State of Mind

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Categories: Blog, Coaching & Couselling, Tags: ,

A while ago I wrote an article on Alternative Therapy. I described a number of aspects, varying from advantages to warnings. The advantages being an increased resistance, being more relaxed (also leading to a better resistance). The warnings have to do with never using alternative medicine on its own, but always as an addition to regular medicine. This piece will be about a similar warning, having to do with influencing your state of mind and with it, your mental health.

When it comes to your health, there are a number of key components: Your physical health, your mental health and then there’s something, which can not be specifically measured, but what everybody talks about and knows, being the amount of energy in your system. Mental components often influence the amount of energy you have (as in how you’re feeling and how much you can get done during the day) and in the long run also your physical health. When you have less energy, you’re resistance is likely to go down, which physical ailments being the result. The mental aspect is therefore a very important component for our health and with it for our wellbeing.

When getting support on a mental (psychological) level, it’s important that the whole process gets looked at. A number of professionals are very good at digging very deep, getting things to the surface, but next forget that it’s also their responsibility to let the person go home safe. By safe, I mean, without the risk of hurting oneself, because of emotions having come to the surface. This for instance happens when going to courses. People get send home, most of them are fine, but some of them are still very emotional and shaken up from what they’ve found out (experienced). Chances are, they will not pay enough attention on the road, with the necessary consequences.

Besides this happening when going to a course, it could also happen when going to a private session with a coach, counselor or even a psychologist. When people are working on a tight schedule, they may make you aware of certain mindsets, but not help you solve these mindsets, since you are running out of time. Since you’ll be returning next week any way (most of the time people with tight time schedules, also plan 5 sessions ahead), the resolution can wait for another week and you can get to think about it during this week. Wait a moment… wait another week (or worse even longer)???

Yes, it happens and I’ve seen a number of people who were completely depressed after such sessions. They had discovered their “dark” sides, uncovered certain habits and memories and next they were send off, without having been given any coping mechanisms. These people came from other coaches or psychologists and were extremely low in energy and didn’t know what to do. Next I got to patch them up, fix their mindsets, so they would become empowering, instead of draining away their energy, being the result of not knowing how to deal with the new (possibly rediscovered) knowledge.

When friends are helping out, they can cause the same effect. If they keep asking, they might uncover a hidden mindset. However they may not be trained to patch their friend back up again. So what to do next? Fortunately most friends are more about giving advice, then about listening and getting to those specific details and with it the mindsets behind them.

Besides professionals and/or friends, you might end up getting involved with people who want to make others aware of their mindsets. Let’s say for instance they ask you questions, which eventually show you that your ideas (let’s call it perspective on life) have been false all along. What will happen next, if your whole foundation, your whole life, had been built on this perspective? What will happen if you suddenly have been made aware that nothing adds up anymore and there’s no safety net, no one to give you the proper support on how to deal with this? Would you accept it if you then got told: “Oops sorry… not my field of expertise? I’m just here to give you a wake-up call?”

In each of the examples, whether having to do with professionals, amateur philosophers and/or well meaning friends, there’s a real risk involved. People might come out worse of a situation, then before they went in. When someone is “messing” with your mind, whether well meant or not, it’s very important to be aware of the possible results. If you cannot be helped while being in “trouble”, you shouldn’t be given this wakeup call to begin with.

So, if you ever are to get involved in such a process, be careful that what’s been started can also be finished. If it can’t be finished, or you are not willing to let others help you get through the whole process, you might not even want to have people start digging in your mind to begin with. Getting things ditched up (again) and not having these resolved, can be way more dangerous for your state of mind, as in leaving things be. You’re better off being unhappy, than being confronted with your worst fears and not knowing what to do with this.

Going back to the beginning of this piece, I was talking about alternative medicine and working with people who are not qualified or trained to do what they pretend to be doing. This can also be applied to people in regular healthcare (psychologists for instance) and/or people in the alternative circuit. Make sure, you always go see a properly trained professional, who knows what he or she is doing and will take the responsibility to make sure you return home/stay safe at all times. You always want to make sure that if hidden mindsets are dug up and/or certain ideas or memories get uncovered, there’s someone to fall back upon, making sure you can get back in the right state of mind. And yes, you may have doubts in the process, but as long as you feel secure, despite these doubts, and you have a safety net, you will most likely be fine.

Finishing this story on the importance of the right State of Mind, I want to emphasize, the importance of those people who are willing and able to help others find out their own “truth”. Reaching people’s hidden mindsets and uncovering unknown “blind spots” is an art in itself. Some people are good at it, while others will never be, or even worse, won’t even care to (listen). If you are one of those people who have such a special persons in your surroundings, who can reach your hidden mindsets and get them uncovered, you might be very lucky (providing you let them work with you). Know that these people can take pride in what they do, since only few people can seriously listen to others, while also getting through to them, making them listen, and understand. By doing so, they can and will (seriously) improve other people’s lives.



Confirmation Bias & Mindsets

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Categories: Blog, Coaching & Couselling, Tags: ,

How to deal with Confirmation Bias & Mindsets?

Every once in a while I get into a discussion having to do with explaining how certain things are picked up on. This one has to do with “how to approach people in order to get through to them”, or better yet how to deal with “Confirmation Bias”. How is someone best approached in order to have him or her listen?

Before going on, some things should be explained when it comes to “Confirmation Bias”. People talk about Confirmation Bias when others have certain specific ideas and they are not open to changing these. On the surface they seem to be open and to be listening but when taking a closer look, they actually are not. It took me till very recently to understand this principle. It wasn’t until I was being told the following until I started to see what was actually being meant:

“It’s the whole reading comprehension thing again. You evidently read between the lines and see precisely what you want to see.”*

My first response was:

“There’s a very big difference between reading between the lines (noticing what’s not been said and getting into this) and only noticing what I want to see (this is called a blind spot, as a result of a mindset).”

The answer:

“The two things aren’t mutually exclusive. You can set out to notice “what’s not being said” because it’s what you want to notice. Or, you can notice face-value language and see it how you want to see it.”

Later adding:

“Two words: Confirmation bias.”

While first thinking “Confirmation Bias” was nothing more than being aware (reminded) of what the “so-called” bias (for others “the true belief”) is, it turns out there’s a whole lot more to it. Looking it up on the net I found an article explaining that this is about looking for evidence as in confirming what was already thought of and overlooking all else, which could be contradictive to the already adopted beliefs (note what was being said before: [You] “see precisely what you want to see”). They added that in order to find out the “truth”, it’s important to have people involved who represent the other side.

This leads me straight to question number two. How to approach people who are (almost) certain to only see (and hear) what they want to comprehend (as in being blinded by their own mindsets)?

Does it require being polite or the exact opposite as in being blunt? Does someone need to get angry first and what would the result be? What I said when talking on about confirmation bias and how things were said to me was:

“It’s the way you can say things to me and the impact they have on me. And then there’s me thinking about the truth behind it, making me see things differently.”

The response was:

“Show me the polite way to let someone know that their personal beliefs about how the world operates could be mistaken, and I’ll show you a person who will let it in one ear and out the other.”

Personally I do no think this has anything to do with being polite. It has to do with getting through to someone, which requires being “straight-forward” about what it is you want to say to the other person, leaving no question marks whatsoever. The other aspect is being respectful.

The first aspect sounds easy enough until/unless someone is not willing to listen. This can be easily recognized. If someone chatters on or stops only briefly to go on straight away about another subject, this is very revealing. What’s important is to do what it takes to get someone’s attention. This can vary from touching someone on the knee, forcing to look at you to getting completely silent and see what happens next. Depending on the situation and the relationship the methods will vary.

When being on the net (only relying on text and no live images), things become a little harder. What if someone does listen to you, but does not respond back about it? Is it by repeating the same words/lines all over again that someone shows he or she is not listening? Can it be that part is understood and part is not? And if so, what to do? Repeat it all over again (or partly) just in other words? How can you check what is understood and what’s not?

Then there is the second aspect called respect. If someone gets angry, upset or emotional, does this show respect to the other one? And better yet (or even worse), what kind of reaction does it trigger? If lucky the other ones does not respond at all, or it only gets noticed and something is being said about it, reminding the other one of his or her responsibility. Worst case scenario the other starts to yell or scream even louder, a very normal reaction, leading to nowhere.

When we are talking mindsets, we are dealing with the subconscious part. This can be triggered by emotions and/or by going into extremes. Showing a mirror can work very well, but is not always the easiest thing to do. Then there is also the part of showing trust, confidence and/or patience towards the other person, which gives one the chance to let his one’s guard down and get closer to this (hidden) mindset. Safety is “key” when you want to access parts which are hidden in the subconscious part of the mind. Taking someone along on the path to the (sometimes painful) truth may still be hard, but when done so with enough respect and trust, it’s acceptable, however difficult it may seem.

Someone recently send me this message:

“It’s really nice to speak to you. Even if it often feels like you’re pulling me further down while I feel like I’m drowning in misery, with you questioning my thinking and intentions… you still manage to always pull me back up above the surface where I can breath. You’re amazing. I feel better now that I did this morning.

She’s a wonderful person, willing to look at herself, showing guts by doing so. And sometimes I can be really “blunt” to her, to access those mindsets and to make things (patterns) visible to her. Doing so, I also remind her of the things she’s already done and the good aspects coming out of the whole process and with it, there’s trust.

Looking back on this story, I’d say we all have hidden mindsets, causing us to act conform “confirmation bias”. Not all of us are so lucky to have someone in our surroundings to point this out and while these persons might be rather annoying and sometimes even hurtful, they are the truly special people which deserve treasuring. How many people do you know who dare to tell you the truth, see the world differently, and thus making you able to grow? If you do, you might want to think about this story next time you would like to lash out at someone who’s giving it to you straight :-). I most certainly will and do, however hard sometimes!


* All quotes (in Italics and with exception of the last one) are made by someone I talk to daily on his blog, also known as TS. TS is constantly showing me new insights when it comes to my own mindsets and beliefs, never giving up, even when things seem pointless. Even when not knowing where this will lead me, when talking about my own “’experiences” and “beliefs”, it helps me to see things in better perspective, uncovering my own (limiting) mindsets. Being both a coach and counsellor, I’m more appreciative about this than anyone will, most likely, ever know.


A Challenge called Insanity

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Categories: Blog, Coaching & Couselling, Massage, Workout, Tags: , , ,

It’s been a few months since I first I heard about it, a workout called Insanity. One can wonder why one would do a workout in front of a tv, alone at home, however, after not having been to the gym for over a year it was time for some proper workouts again. So when I first read about Insanity (on Facebook no less), the second thing I read was it indeed was insane. Now always being up for a good challenge, it caught my attention, but when looking for it back then I couldn’t find it over here in Holland. Recently someone in the neighborhood had some difficulty walking, I wanted to know and then I got told Insanity was to blame for this. The good news was Insanity is also available over here now!

So a little over a week ago Insanity was delivered to my home, it said it started on Mondays, being a good girl I waited till Monday and next was swamped with appointments. No Insanity that day! Change of plans! One of the things mentioned in the preparation was using a heart rate monitor and then I remembered I had a watch which rewarded me with a price cup if I indeed worked out several times a week. Actually this wasn’t much of a problem, since I had replaced going to the gym with cycling to the beach several times a week. So instead of working out with Insanity my first actions consisted on putting on that watch + “wearlink” and get going.

After a couple of days the curiosity took over and when I had the time last Saturday I started with Insanity. The first time you have to take a Fittest. Getting all prepped up as if going to the gym, I started take this first test, was pleasantly surprised, despite ending up with a red head like a tomato for a while and next felt proud of myself.

Posting a message about this on Facebook, someone else wanted to know about this workout as well and seeing what it meant I again got to realize this wasn’t just for anyone. I already had discussed this with some others, before I knew what it was, since everyone seems to want to do some form of workout, but no one wants to go to the gym (alone). I have one big advantage though, I’ve been working out since my early twenties in the gym, since it’s one of the few sports I can actually participate in. As a result I’ve become a fitness trainer, next a medical fitness trainer and then ended up as a sport masseuse. This means I know what I can do and cannot do and why, so I can safely join those peeps on tv.

Pricecup on PolarToday is Monday, which means that messages have been distributed at midnight to everyone who has a watch with a price cup. Walking  a bit slower and harder than usual after two days of working out I looked at  my watch, clicked on the message and there it was, a price cup. Yes! After  more than a year I finally have gotten back in the game.

I’m aware this is a sixty day program and after the program I cannot just sit back and do nothing, but it actually has giving me a very good feeling. I always loved to work out and I’m back in the game again. I’m not the girl who will ever look pear-shaped or slim for that matter, but that’s okay, I love a muscular body. And as long as I’m the auntie who still gets to swirl around her cousin(s), even when almost being as tall as me (do they grow fast nowadays), it’s still fun to be able to do so.

Writing this down I feel very content. Relaxation has a new meaning after working out and when I’m going to get my feet and face done in a while (which color to pick this time for my toenails?), I’ll also know that when standing in my practice tonight I’ll feel a lot better. Not only because I just got pampered, but especially because when I’m massaging people (those working out, running, you name it), it always feels a lot better to be able to say I’m working out myself as well, so I remember vividly about muscle aches. I’m pretty sure I’m going to enjoy this challenge called Insanity. Muscle aches always remind me what I’m doing these workouts for and right now all I can say is I’m happy to finally be doing something that will (hopefully) get me back into shape before the Summer sets in over here (which may actually take a long while over here 🙂 !)

One quick afterthought: You don’t want to do this in the presence of all others, since it indeed is taking its toll on the breathing, which may look and sound anything but flattering. Then again, who cares? It’s a Challenge after all and it’s all about the end result!


Mind discipline – silencing the chattering of the mind

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Categories: Blog, Coaching & Couselling, HyperSensitief, Tags: , ,

There are a number of things that make life kinda sweet. One of these things is driving at night, while it’s dark, it’s quiet and then enjoying the music over the speakers (beats the laptop anytime), while also experiencing driving with the rooftop slightly opened, since the weather is finally improving. It helps me to calm down my mind, silencing it and as such functioning as some sort of mind discipline (more on this later), being caused by having to focus on the road, while next having music calming me down some more and making me all happy.

While being on the road I was wondering about a number of things, one of which being why I like to drive in the middle of the night. Most of the time you can find me cycling home coming from the beach, but today I had some things to do in another city, so the car it was. I always feel a bit decadent when driving. Most people seriously think I’ve bought my gloves especially for this car, but alas no, although they make a good match :-). One of the reasons I like to drive at midnight, probably has to do with my preference of this time of day. It’s the time with little input from others (if any at all) and there seems to be something magical about driving in the dark, with just a few lights (as opposed to complete darkness which I do not like at all).

One of the things I intended to do was write a little something about the confusion in my mind. At nighttime one would expect this could be done quite easily, but believe it or not, the Dutch (and one Swedish) friends are still awake, leaving me little to none peace of mind to actually write down my thoughts. Still I’m determined to make it work, so I’m doing my utmost to ignore the bleeps around me and just give in occasionally.

Today I was talking to someone about the chattering in our heads. I know a thing or two (and a lot more) about this myself and one of the things that helps me is to write things down and get some understanding of why there’s so much chattering going on. Part of my thoughts has to do with something I wrote earlier today to someone. While writing, or better yet after writing I noticed I’d been expressing my thoughts and emotions is a not very friendly manner, making me wonder if this was a wise decision. Well some things cannot be undone, so I just wrote an additional message to explain my confusion and basically to say “sorry” for being somewhat (?) blunt and direct in the previous messages. It’s not in my nature to express my displeasure with things so directly (at least not when it comes to personal stuff, businesswise I do not mind at all), so whenever I do I always want to correct it straight away. Won’t help one bit and takes away all intent, whereas what’s been said has been said and it has no use at all to try and change this.

So another method is to get into a meditational state. Whereas it took me lots of effort to close my eyes and just sit, it’s actually become a comforting place to be. At first I allow my mind to wonder on, within certain limits, having to do with the place I reside at in my mind. This actually follows a certain pattern, allowing me to go deeper in the meditation, while at the same time expressing my thoughts, worries, emotions and all that needs to go in order to get that quiet mind. Depending on how much chattering is going on, I’ll get into nothingness pretty quickly, or I’ll just enjoy the experience of being in this other place, while at the same time my physical body is completely relaxing. The combination is a wonderful one causing me to feel safe during the time I’m away from all daily choirs and influences.

When chatting earlier today about silencing the chattering of our minds, I responded that going into a meditational state or trancelike state actually did wonders for me. When thinking about it, it seems almost like a contradiction that in order to have to learn to meditate or go even deeper, I had to learn mind discipline. All these years no one was able to silence my mind, till I went to medium courses. The teachers who were supposed to be teaching a “woo” subject, were actually very strict and required focus and discipline, specifically mind discipline. For the first in my life I’d found something I could get myself to calm down with. I’ll admit I prefer other methods which can go way faster (as in a few words), but unfortunately “they” are mostly not accessible, so it’s nice to have multiple options when it’s really needed.

Talking about one of these methods, today I got to realize that one of these actually wasn’t working for me at all. If anything it had made me all confused. I’m talking about writing other people and next experience new perspectives and with it some more structure. However today the structure seemed lost and as a result confusion set in and with it more chattering, hence the multiple messages I talked about earlier on this post. In the last message I expressed my confusion and this seemed to result in more peace of mind. Getting away from all it, getting in my car was a good next step. It allowed me to enjoy music and the surroundings in the midst of night, so by the time I was starting to write this, I was actually really happy again.

When I got to write with someone (else) about having a hard time sleeping because of chattering going on (no not specifically of my mind this time), I remembered I already had decided earlier today I wanted to write about the mind discipline, leading up to the mind calming down and to me this emphasizes something I wrote about yesterday as well. It’s about things (topics) popping up whenever they need to. Yesterday it had to do with the metaphysical and evidence, today it was about mind discipline to silence the chattering of the mind. Personally I love it, when things have a way of working out, such that what’s best to talk about at a specific moment, actually gets the attention it deserves.

This being said, it’s time to wrap things up. With expressing my thought to (electronic) paper, fatigue is setting in. Before falling asleep I’ll be doing some exercises having to with mind discipline and with some luck I’ll be fast asleep before having finished them. I’m aware that mind discipline is gone for that moment, but that’s okay, ‘cause it will have served its purpose by then: getting the mind to quiet down.

There is one BUT however (if there wouldn’t be, one could wonder if it really were me talking here), of course I wanted to check my mail before wrapping things up. Why? Because there might be something in the mail, getting me off balance and then the whole mind discipline routine would have to take place all over again. Checking my mail actually proved to be a good idea, as in even soothing. I can now say that one of these methods I was talking about before in this post, is actually working again, at least for me it is… :-). It has given me some more food for though, but that can wait till tomorrow!


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